The Men's Den

Here is simply a room enabling men to also have a voice in sharing their stories. As women of yesteryear gathered around the kitchen tables of the world sharing family stories so did the men gather at their favorite spots spinning tales of their forefathers of years long gone.

Family history is not told by women alone. I see small circles of smoke engulfing the image of a man puffing leisurely on his pipe, sitting in front of a peaceful fire, having finished his night meal. His children are gathered around his feet as they beg for the stories he has to share. Mom's stories are good but his have a different charm. Dad's challenges were not always the same. Life sometimes looks to a man differently.

Many men grew up in the same verbally or physically abusive atmosphere as did women. And why wouldn't men have the human feelings that can surround our lives inhibiting success? Fortunately today many realize we can change our lives through personal growth. Writing can help.

Men did, and do today, face a different slant on life. They do their part in bringing to a family a bit of a mix, which is what they are supposed to do. Generations to come can learn from the men of today as they did from the men of yesteryear. Stories are still the heartbeat of the family passed on from generation to generation. It is in these stories that memories are made.

I applaud the men in this workshop and others as they come to join them in sharing their stories. I urge you to welcome them and to read and remember their writings.

—Sandra Pesini

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Escaping My Comfort Zone
by Donald F. Suplee

My escape from my comfort zone came soon after being let go from a managerial job at a prestigious publishing firm after fifteen years of employment. I had a family to support and had to do something fast. Rather than look for just another job, I heard about a man who was starting a new venture in center city Philadelphia.

As a startup idea there was not much money there at that stage of development. I took a great risk in going to work with this company. I applied for and got unemployment assistance from the state and my new employer paid me a supplement that got me by. This risk paid off as I eventually many years later became president of the firm that had grown to be a great force in serving corporate America and Canada. Something inside me said to take this chance and it was the right move for me.

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When Life Gives Lemons
by Robert Werthman

I was devastated after spending 28 years—very demanding, very challenging, and very rewarding years—and getting the ax. I always knew that it was more a question of “when” and not “if”. This was a fact of life in this company but somehow I thought I was above the normal. After all, the company created me. I always did an outstanding job and was compensated for my accomplishments. Somewhere along the line I became a liability.

I viewed this change as an opportunity to perhaps do something that I never had time to do. I decided to return to college and get both my bachelor’s and master’s degrees. It took several years, but my dream came true.

This negative event caused me to examine my life and my work. I decided to keep those parts of my work I enjoyed doing and eliminate the parts I didn’t enjoy. In a way, I reinvented myself—with the help of God and my family who supported me 150%.

There is a saying: When the door closes, God opens a window. God was truly busy during this time of my life.

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Do You Have a Moment?
by Paul Surden

At a time early on I was in the entertainment industry doing radio. I went with a friend to a theater where he was giving an audition for a part in a show. Now, I had been doing radio for a few years and had experience dealing with audiences, but most of what I did was read directly from the copy.

While I was sitting in the audience watching the auditions, a hand with a script in it was pushed in front of my face. I was asked to go up and read the part of Chester.

I had never done theater or acted in my life, but I took the script, went on stage, and with hands shaking, read the part. I was asked to take a seat and wait for my name to be called.

I came off the stage shaking like a leaf. I couldn’t believe what I had just done. I guess I was too shocked to be really nervous, and my ego took over. Would you believe it! My name was called. I got the part. I wasn’t looking for it, didn’t really want it, but again my ego stepped in. This started me out on a long and enjoyable stint in the theater.

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